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MERGER TIPS FOR 2017:  For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected IPOs so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.  Watch for these consolidations in 2017:


  1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
  1. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.
  1. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.
  1. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.
  1. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.
  1. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.
  1. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.
  1. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!

And finally….

  1. Victoria‘s Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: TittyTittyBangBang


Cutting the entire epic down to size, I have returned from a vacation
called hell. Flew to Florida for a few days. Arrived there with double
pneumonia and virus and sent to a hospital in Broward County. Released
and returned to our town. Took my pet for a walk and he lunged away. I
fell into the street and fractured my hip and femur. So if it’s
relevance you’re looking for, pal, it’ll be right here, a smorgasbord of
tidbits, bare and otherwise,


The Monsanto complex on Olive Street Road is being emptied out as we speak. Preparing for Bare essentials.


Will Hollywood meet the Beltway tonight at the Academy Awards ceremony? (7:30 p.m. on ABC.) “There will be some element in it,” predicts host Jimmy Kimmel. Meanwhile, John Legend, who is skedded tonight and is a Clinton supporter, says, “I’ll continue to speak out.”

Sadly, Lake Forest Confectioners is shuttering. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to revive the old Lake Forest Bakery and its paradise cakes? For now, the candy maker has joined the ranks of those we enjoyed and lost through the years such as Mavrakos, Busy Bee, Barbakos and Friliingo’s. Another option was buying candy: Brach’s, Mars; Kit Kat, 5th Avenue, Musketeers, Payday, Milk Shake, Boston Baked Beans and Reed’s. We continue to have Crown Candy Kitchen although most of its candy is provided by National Candy Co. of Milwaukee. There’s also Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate and each time I have bought their products at Dierbergs they’ve been stale.

HISTORIC FEB. 27: 1974, People magazine made its debut; 1956, Elvis Presley recorded “Heartbreak Hotel” and in 1922, The U.S. Supreme Court unanimously upheld the 19th Amendment giving women’s rights to vote.


Built in 1891 for $2,500, the house occupied by Charlesetta Taylor will be moved to the Jefferson/Parnell area from its path in the NGA area. . .Walmart has doled out $250k for the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences to further the education of looming talent (LOL). . .Don’t rely on online doctors’ ratings, advises the Journal of American Medical Association (JAMA). While they provide reviews, the ratings don’t offer enough data on disciplines or other serious information.


St. Louis County prosecutor’s office has filed stealing charges against attorney Scott Ehlermann over accusations that he took a court document in an adult abuse case.


Facebook is in pow-wows with Major League Baseball to live-stream all games. . .Police and federal agents made a series of early-morning raids and arrests in our town targeting a narcotics distribution conspiracy in the Hannibal, MO area. Indictment against 13 men and women was unsealed Wednesday after the arrests began. Cocaine was obtained from a source in Austin, TX and transported to St. Louis and then shipped to Hannibal where it was converted to crack cocaine for distribution. The indictment alleges that members of the conspiracy also distributed heroin, in the Eastern District of Missouri. . .Adams Grove is going up! That’s the moniker for the 150 mixed-income housing units planned for Forest Park Southeast bordering the WashU Med Campus and sponsored by the university’s Redevelopment Corp.

SIGHTEM ON WASHU CAMPUS: “Never drink while driving. You might spill some.”

HISTORIC FEB. 23: 1981, Prince Charles announced his engagement to Princess Diana Spencer; 1955, Cole Porter’s lavish musical, “Silk Stockings,” bowed on Broadway; 1946, Juan Peron elected president of Argentina.


In addition to her annual compensation of $47 million for the creation
and production of the daily courtroom series, “Judge Judy,” Sheindlin is
negotiating with CBS Distribution to buy her library of past shows for
repeats airings. (Judge Judy is asking for up to $200 million.)


Prolific author and counselor Rose Jonas fires up her computer daily to prepare the manuscript for her upcoming tome, “Murder in the Orphanage,” The ebullient wordsmith’s other works are “Living on Stress Mountain” and “How to be Okay When Your Life Sucks.”


Once there were giants who built well – for the ages, they thought – but their landmarks, the solid evidence of their achievements could disappear overnight. I was reminded of that this week at Pumpernickle’s Deli where I visited with Marilyn and Bernard “Bunny” Edison. His dad and uncles created the Edison Brothers Stores, Inc. empire. The company had a glorious past and the founders were extremely philanthropic. During the Depression, Bernard’s mother pawned her diamonds to feed the poor; his dad generously donated shoes to the poor. Bernard became president of the company and acquired the profitable Jeans West chain. Then came the thud in 1995 when the company filed for bankruptcy. Months before that, president and simian-face Martin Sneider dropped under the radar as did chairman Andrew Newman, both blamed for the collapse of the more than 2,000 apparel and footwear stores. Gone were pensions and other perks. Newman was the grandson of one of the founders; Sneider went on to become. . . a professor of retailing at WashU’s Olin School. Go figure!

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