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FAKE NEWS

While the Metro brass is trying to find a way to secure riders, how about some housekeeping for the elevator in Clayton’s Shaw Garage? On a recent day, you could hear a telemarketer over the speaker offering trips to Florida from the emergency phone, still on the hook and inside the control panel on the elevator.
MISSOURI DEPT. OF ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT: Unemployment rate decreased to 3.9 percent in March – lowest since September, 2000.
THE GLORY DAYS OF PRINT MEDIA MAY BE OVER IN THE AGE OF “FAKE NEWS.” Now media brands have turned to advertising.  The New York Times: “TRUTH. It’s more important now more than ever.”

4 Responses to “FAKE NEWS”

  • KITTY says:

    Way back when I lived atop The Dorchester, many rich old ladies would walk their dogs. One dog peed in the elevator one day..the scent caused other dogs to pee in the elevator. This went on for a few days and even though the maintenance man cleaned up the pee each day, the smell of pee got stronger and stronger. So, being the clever witty Kitty I am, I wrote a limerick and posted it on the elevator doors and inside the elevators. The tongues started waggin’ from the 1st thru the 23rd floor. Marie Mess, the manager, tore down my limerick and posted a stern warning to the dog owners to stop letting their dogs pee in the elevator. Soon all was well again.
    But I got a lot of kudos for bringing the problem to a head.

    There once was an eccentric old Dorchester miss
    who thought it the apex of bliss
    to let her poor poodle
    soak up water like a noodle
    and then run to the elevator to piss!

    And thank God we don’t get FAKE news from The Bergermeister. Sometimes he gets his facts wrong and is corrected, but it’s never FAKE.

  • TOWNCAR says:

    Good Kitty. When I had my apartment in the CWE my room overlooked the pool and gas grill area…the next building over was a home for nuns. Evidently they had a problem with outside wall climbers that used the downspouts to climb up and attempt entry into the building. After the third successful entry and resulting mayhem, and many police sirens splitting the night air, they decided to get a dog to discourage intruders.

    Trouble is that no one cared for the hyper terrier that would scare everyone away with continuous barking, and was the bane of those of us that faced east. One particular night at around 2:30AM tenants and myself were screaming out our windows to STFU to the hapless and unhappy dog. SO, seeing as how my maternal grandparents had bought and donated the house where the nuns resided, I convinced them to bring the dog INSIDE at sundown, to be let back out at sunrise. That worked…for a while.

    It was then a certain someone with a scoped rifle got really upset at being again awakened at dawn with the yap yap, and it was then someone took aim at the dog, and with one shot, which at that time sounded like an explosion at dawn…it was a 30-06 and the dog.s bark abruptly stopped, once again quiet save for applause heard from adjacent apartments.

    After 4 years there, I moved into my present house where I have resided for now almost 47 years, and although lots of dogs go up and down the street on their morning.evening walks, there has been nary a bark that has awakened me in all that time.

    I will neither confirm or deny that I had anything to do in that incident with the hapless dog, and now not even the nuns live there anymore.

    This was news, and it was not FAKE.

  • KITTY says:

    WTG,Towncar! I always figured you were a sharpshooter. Only an expert can tell the difference in the sounds of a 30-06 from a 7.62 or a 380. I’m sure the sound of that 30-06 rattled the rosaries of all the adjacent nuns. Holy Mother, Full of Grace, Shoot that dog, and bring quiet to the place! And Heavenly Father, where ere you are, give a blessing and shout out to that gallant Towncar.

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