Posts Tagged ‘Gerard Craft’

The columnist has made hundreds of New Year’s resolutions over the years – for himself and on behalf of many of you.  Some have taken: some have not.  For himself, the columnist vows better attention to health; more acceptance of the limits of medicine; greater patience with the pace of healing; and a more heartfelt gratitude to doctors, nurses, billing clerks, insurance companies, and (especially) to well-wishers.  He also vows greater attention to correct spelling, accurate timing, complete quoting, standard punctuation, organized note-taking, credible attribution, flattering photography, and graceful corrections.  Of course, that is an annual resolution, made with little real intention of doing anything about the habits of a lifetime gossipist. On your behalf, the columnist attributes (with no foundation and with relatively little malice) the following fantasy resolutions:

• From President Barack Obama: I’ll do my Christmas vacation next year with Claire, Joe, and their family in St. Louis, as long as Claire promises not to Tweet about it and Joe pays for the Pi.
• From Governor Jay Nixon:  I’ll ask Peter Kinder, who practically lives there, to tell Georganne the best places to eat, shop, and stay in St. Louis.
• From Archbishop Robert Carlson:  I’ll make more good news with Catholic Charities than bad.
• From SLU president the Rev. Larry Biondi:  I’ll commission a statue of a naked Rick Majerus for Bannister House if the Billikens make the NCAA Tournament.
• From Sen. Kit Bond:  I’ll use my final year to find jobs for all my staff.
• From County Executive Charlie Dooley:  I’ll ask the nice Greg Boyce for a couple of lumps of clean coal to put into a certain former staffer’s Christmas stocking.
• From Mayor Francis Slay:  I’ll give a Key to the City to Lady GaGa.
• From KMOV GM Alan Cohen:  I’ll do infomercials 24/7.
• From “Donnybrook” founder Martin Duggan:  I’ll start a blog. What’s a blog?
• From Emerson CEO David Farr and celebrated attorney Linda Martinez:  We had no idea we were named “man and woman of the year” by the Variety Club until we read it in Berger’s column. We hope he’ll be seated with us at the April 24th dinner.
• From Congressman Lacy Clay:  I’ll check “finally single”  on my Census form next year.
• From former GOP consultant Rod Jetton: I’ll use the hot air
• From the Robin  Carnahan campaign to fill a bouquet of green balloons.
• From Gateway Foundation donor M. Peter Fischer:  I think I’ll do another two blocks.
• From Build-A-Bear boss Maxine Clark:  I’ll stuff the first marketing person who suggests a children’s video on national health care reform, immigration, or gun control.
• From former Engineered Air’s Mike Shanahan:  Since that fancy country club in Naples, Fla., has blackballed me and sent me a check that bounced, I think I’ll remain at Old Warson.
• From the St. Louis Beacon’s Bob Duffy:  We now have our own space in the KETC-TV offices and hope we’ll open an Illinois bureau in Pontoon Beach.
• From television reporter Alex Fees:  Maybe I can get Donna Wilkinson to follow Steve Schankman on my “Conversations with. . .” in January on HEC-TV – if her stockings aren’t falling.
• From Congressman Russ Carnahan:  I’ll use my frequent flier miles to send mouthy Ed Martin on a long trip to country without the Internet.
• From Blues owner Dave Checketts:  I’ll play Ed Goltermann in goal for home games.
• From Gerard Craft:  I’ll open a Niche on every corner.
• From WashU chancellor Mark Wrighton:  I’ll get that Top 10 ranking back.
• From Chief Tim Fitch:  I’ll find a new badge for Floyd Warmann.
• From KSDK GM Lynn Beall:  I’ll retire or replace any face viewers might conceivably recognize.
• From Rams owner Chip Rosenbloom:  I’ll fire the coach if he blows our number one draft choice by actually winning another game.
• From Bob Baer:  I’ll ride the last Metro bus to Chesterfield if the County tax campaign fails in April.
• From would-be Rams owner Rush Limbaugh:  I’ll buy the Arch Rival Roller Girls instead.
• From north St. Louis developer Paul McKee:  I’ll mow all my yards and rake yours too.
• From entrepreneurs Mike and Steve Roberts: We’ll suggest changing the name of St. Louis City to Roberts St. Louis City.
• From Symphony music director David Robertson:  I’ll buy KFUO and program it with hip-hop, uh. . .classical music.
• From Cardinals president Bill DeWitt III:  I’ll change the name of Ballpark Village to Holliday Haven.
• From the Loop’s Joe Edwards:  I’ll open a successful venue on the actual Moon.
• From Lee CEO Mary Junck:  I’ll improve morale by signing a good contract with the Newspaper Guild.
• From AmerenUe officials:  I’ll use the phrase “a warm holiday glow” in our next filing with the Public Service Commission to soften them up on a nuclear power rate increase.
• From Art Museum honcho Brent Benjamin:  I’ll expand.
• From AB Inbev boss Carlos Britto: I’ll find out if Clydesdales go better with a little lime.
• From grocer Greg Dierberg:  I’ll open the most popular grocery in a decade and call it. . .Culinaria Too.
• From the Caseyville and Collinsville police:  Next time we hope we’ll get it right. (At Teezers Bar in Collinsville, a guy walked in with a silver handgun over the holidays and fired off a few rounds and marched out.  Police began looking for a 70 year-old man known to them and after much searching, they decided that the gunman they really needed to look for had the same name but was just 52.  Then, the Caseyville police gave their Collinsville counterparts an entirely different suspect’s name. The guy, who allegedly committed the explosive act, was none of the above: he had been hiding out all that time at Jessi’s Hideout in Collinsville.)
• From restaurateur Sam Kacar: I hope to open a third Trattoria Branica in Chesterfield Valley by mid-January and then focus on a fourth in the CWE or Webster Groves.
• From former airport director Dick Hrabko: I’m going to get those slots installed at the Spirit of St. Louis Airport.
• From Wind Capital exec Tom Carnahan:  I’ll use the hot air
• From the Roy Blunt campaign to generate electricity.
• From uber-flack Joan Quicksilver:  I’ll nominate Jerry Berger as Media Person of the Year.
• From affable CVC’s Kitty Ratcliffe:  I resolve I’ll ask for another convention center. (The woman has garnered kudos for signing such major confabs as the Church of God in Christ, that brought 40,000 here and has inked its convention for St. Louis in 2011 and 2012 – away From Memphis.
• From all of this column’s many sources: We’ll not turn a blind eye to any item that might amuse St. Louis in Jerry Berger’s website.

Caveat lector and Happy New Year!

Sharon and Kim Tucci

SCOOPLETTES: Re-development of the former Raffie Vending Co. warehouse on the north side of Forest Park Parkway between Spring and Grand – proposed by the St. John-based Sasak Corp. to be a relatively low-end Holiday Inn Express – has hit an important, likely fatal roadblock. St. Louis University prez Larry Biondi, whose views regarding construction around the perimeter of his midtown campus are highly regarded around City Hall, is withholding his figurative “nihil obstat”… Keep your ears open for more corruption indictments, where something is brewing on the ninth floor of the county government center (not Chaz Dooley)… Mike Reap has done such an outstanding job as acting U.S. Attorney seven months into Prez Obama’s term, insiders are wondering if U.S. Sen. Claire McCaskill would show her independence by nominating a career prosecutor for the permanent position. . .The Covalence Ethical Ranking attempts to measure the ethical reputations of 541 multinational companies based in 45 different criteria, including labor practices and product social utility.

Stelli Siteman's role in a touring production, "Unbelievable," about cancer and written by a cancer survivor.

The 2009 rankings were great news for some St. Louis titans, bad news for others. Large St. Louis employers Boeing Co. at number 40 and Anheuser-Busch InBev at number 56 appeared near the top of the reputation list, ahead of Emerson Electric at number 374 and Peabody Energy at number 396. Firmly anchoring the bottom of the list was Creve Coeur-based Monsanto. which finished at 541st… A former St. Louis priest moves up in the church hierarchy in an unusual shake-up of the Scranton, Pa., diocese in which its bishop is suddenly stepping down because a number of controversies. Msgr. Joseph Bambera has been tapped as administrator of the diocese, taking the reins immediately. Who tapped him for the post? Another former St. Louis Catholic cleric, Justin Rigali, who as Philadelphia’s Cardinal is the top church official in Pennsylvania… Fred Teutenberg has been frozen out of the Dirt Cheap stores despite his 25 percent interest in the shops. So, he has turned around to launch another chain – Cheapo Depot – which will bow soon in metro-east… Downtown, some grumblers note that planning details for the revitalization of the Kiel Opera House have slowed to a snail’s pace as its developers re-examine their financing… Twitter co-founder Jack Dorsey (@jack) rarely travels unnoticed. Like millions of other users of his popular micro-blogging service, the Bishop DuBourg alumn takes the time to tell the world – in 140 characters or less – what he is doing at any given moment. Dorsey, who now lives in San Francisco (but is apartment hunting in Manhattan), has made private trips to St. Louis in the past. Later this month, however, Dorsey will make an even more public visit to his hometown with stops on the pitcher’s mound at Busch Stadium to throw out the first pitch at a Cards/Cubs contest, at a gathering of social media experts at Webster U. – and, reportedly, at City Hall to visit with tweeting Mayor Francis Slay (@mayorslay)…. Some residents in Lake St. Louis are wondering when Dierbergs is going to build a store on the vast plot of land it owns.

MR. NITELIFE: “We are going to introduce a new concept from our Pasta House Company in St. Charles,” said J. Kim Tucci, “and it will be called Fresta and Tucci’s Pizzeria and Bar.” His partner in the new venture and also in PHC is Joe Fresta. When boniface Vince Bommarito stopped by to laud Tucci and his wife, Sharon, on their wedding anniversary. Kim tipped that he is supporting state rep Rachel Storch (D-64th Dist.) to fill the seat previously held by beleaguered Jeff Smith. Kim is also taxi commissioner for our town and said, “We’ll allow no taxi on the streets more than six years.” Nearby were psychologist Mitch Alvey with his wife, Yael, who also were toasted on their wedding anniversary. Turning to anxieties, Alvey said that “We use cognitive therapy.. “Some people are afraid to get on an airplane; others afraid of crashing. I usually tell them to change their perspective and it changes how they feel.” Making the rounds in the room, many were spotted dining on Tony’s new creation: cold lobster with white peaches, artichokes and citrus vinaigrette. Famed thoracic surgeon Dr. Nick Kouchoukos and his wife, Judy, pulled up steaks, while colon/rectal surgeon Dr. Ira Kodner with his wife, Barbara, were toasted on their special wedding anniversary. Dr. Kodner, also a WashU Med School prof, tipped that he is closing the school’s Center for the Study of Ethics and Human Values of which he has been the director. . .Over at Chez Leon, Alvin and Ruth Siteman, benefactors of the Siteman Cancer Center, enthused about their daughter/actress Stelli Siteman’s role in a touring production, “Unbelievable,” about cancer and written by a cancer survivor. The show hits the boards on Oct. 16 at Westport Playhouse.

Susan Bonano with her boyfriend, Dennis Geoghegan

Bossman at Chez Leon, Leon Bierbaum said, “If the sale of the restaurant (to Gerard Craft) is a done-deal, I will scout for a location in Clayton.” And, at Truffles, Peggy and Jerry Ritter lamented that a repeat of the BMW Golf Tournament at Bellerive C.C. is not in the future. “The members don’t want it,” said Jerry. Also seen there were Lenny Landsbaum with his wife and heiress to Moog Industries, Donna Moog Landsbaum, said they commute between Phoenix and their condo in a high-rise on Hanley Road. “Laura Orthwein lives there,” chuckled Donna. “It’s time for creativity,” said Paul Chesterton of his switch from attorney to real estater. With Paul was his glammy wife, Beth. And, other faces in the crowd were those of Susan Bonano with her boyfriend, Dennis Geoghegan, who were waiting for the Dolph Busches.

THITHER & YAWN:Heartland Banks’ Larry Schiffer is telling friends, that he’s bought a dude ranch in Colorado for his grandchildren and “It was expensive,” declared Shiffer to pals… Memo to mouthy mourners:: If you don’t want to spend $50 for a $20 per-person catered buffet at the visitation, don’t write a check and don’t complain to me, but to Peggy Ross, Barbara Smith or superflack Joan Quicksilver, *whom I’ve known since the Boer War, which she handled. . .How’s this for a paper chase? Left-leaning pundits at the St. Louis Post-Dispatch complain that the charming righty Colleen Carroll Campbell is paid more than twice the column rate of her colleagues. . .Gossips at the paper-less St. Louis Beacon wonder about the disposition of a 5,000-word probe submitted by scribe John McGuire two weeks before he died. Spiked is the word.. .Retired Maritz exec Philip Moses – one l, really – who works for the BBB and his wife, Pat, of the Ladue Galleries are beaming – and nervous. Their offspring are stars, Mark Moses, who has been in “Desperate Housewives” and “Mad Men” for the last two years: Burke Moses was in the original Broadway cast of “Beauty and the Beast” as Gaston. “It’s a scary ‘mom’ thing’ – and they’re always looking for jobs,” said Pat. . .Employees of The Shoe Box in South County Center recently found themselves in a kind of show business. Owner Dave Kaplan confirmed that – yes, a young, blonde woman had a double wardrobe malfunction while leaning over during a shoe fitting and no, he’s not enough of a heel (or has too much sole?) to give up the name of the buxom beauty.

PLAYING THE NAME GAME: One favorite: the St. Louis telephone directory contains a Hitler (and a bunch of Hittlers), a

Peggy and Jerry Ritter

Tojo two Roosevelts, 12 Churchills, nine Trumans.. There are also eight Schmucks and 11 Dierbergs. (That’s not a food fight, not a World War.). . .Cindy Lieber, the better half of entrepreneur Lester Miller’s household, confirmed that Lester “has traded in his Rolls-Royce for two Bentleys,” she said. Lester is owner of the popular Lester’s eateries. . .Expatriates Mary and Allyn Glaub were spotted at Beffa Bros. cafeteria and Mary and Al Baker of yesteryear’s leading  restaurant, Al Baker’s, were doing the Miss Sheri’s thing..

PHANTOM OF THE OPERA: Over the years, many big egos have trod the boards at the fabulous Fox Theatre – though, for sheer chutzpah, few of them have rivaled the megalomaniacs above the stage in the owners’ box. That box is a little less heavy these nights after co-owner Harvey Harris was unceremoniously dropped from the partnership by Mary Strauss.

HOUSE PROUD: Triple-murder suspect Christopher Coleman was so closely tied to televangelist Joyce Meyer that he was the only person not named “Meyer” to get a home free of charge from the televangelist’s ministry. It was only after an investigation into the federally-banned setup that paid all living expenses for Coleman, his wife Sheri, and their two sons, that Coleman had to go out and buy his own home . Coleman went to Columbia, Ill., to buy the new home – the scene of the ghastly murder of Coleman’s family. Coleman is alleged to have killed them to avoid being fired for getting a divorce. Joyce Meyer has been known to fire workers who have decided to get divorces. Coleman had hoped to pin the murders on someone who hated Joyce Meyer so badly, that the person would kill his entire family. His plan was to then marry one of Sheri’s friends – a dancer with whom Coleman hung out with while out-of-town at Joyce Meyer’s conferences. In addition, Meyer was the first on the scene of the crime in Columbia, Ill., the morning that police found the strangled bodies of Coleman’s wife and two sons.

Alvin and Ruth Siteman, benefactors of the Siteman Cancer Center

JUST SKIP IT?: If it were possible to combine bad timing with worse timing, you’d have to tip your hat to former state senator Maida Coleman for a fund-raising letter arriving in some west St. Louis county mailboxes over the weekend.  Coleman, who ran unsuccessfully for mayor last April against St. Louis Mayor Francis Slay, is asking for $55, $155 or $255 contributions to help settle a tremendous campaign debt.  The bad timing of the letter – months after her losing campaign – is compounded  by the worse timing missive appearing the same week that former senior Coleman advisor Milton “Skip” Ohlsen made political news.. .And I won’t skip the Sept. 17th fete at the Top of the Met in honor of Jim Cloar’s retirement after eight years atop the Partnership for Downtown St. Louis.  Cloar, who arrived in our town from Tampa, is credited with untangling the financial and administrative messes he found at the then Downtown St. Louis Partnership.  He plans to return to the Sunshine State.

Al and Nancy Malnik with Michael Jackson

DON’T STOP THE PRESSES; THEY MAY NEVER START AGAIN!: The Post-Dispatch’s Tony Messenger was bylined in a page-one scoop, outlining the connection of erstwhile Democratic campaign consultant Milton “Skip” Ohlsen to the investigation of the 2008 bombing in a private Clayton parking garage, that injured an attorney. The article sourced “a search warrant obtained” by the newspaper. That raises a couple of Berger-worthy questions:: who gave the search warrant (and several supporting documents) to the newspaper? and which local news managers are now kicking themselves for not pursuing the lead as assiduously as the tireless Messenger? If you have answers, let me know.

WARREN RAPP HAS SOLVED THE MYSTERY, THAT HAS ENTHRALLED CARDINAL NATION:”(Cardinals pitcher) John Smoltz told me, that in his first practice session with the Redbirds, Chris Carpenter confided in Smoltz, that he tipped his hand by the way he held his glove,” said Warren Rapp, general manager of Il Bel Lago Restaurant. Smoltz continued to admit, that he knew which pitch was coming and had the best outing of the year. Stoltz dined with his uncle, St. Anthony’s wunderkind Dr. Anthony Tensigni.

WHEE, THE PEOPLE: Banker Joe Imbs is brushing up on syntax of a speech he’ll deliver in 2010, when he becomes the Mysterious Majesty of Khorassan or the Veiled Prophet. .The lilting language of the prince of prose has returned to your screen with a bon mot about Michael Jackson from the late icon’s frequent host in Palm Beach, Al Malnik. Former St. Louisan, businessman and philanthropist Malnik said that when Jackson houseguested at Al and Nancy Malnik’s Palm Beach estate, “he could compose two songs at once. He could write a song in five minutes,” recalled Malnik. . .Gregg Wurm, yesteryear Ladue police chief-turned-secuirty chief has been bounced from his $200,000 a-year job at Centene Corp. Centene is also where former KSDK, Channel 5 anchor Deanne Lane is rumored to be toiling. . .Over in Forest Park, rumors are rife, that Broadway vet and frequent Muny headliner, Lee Roy Reams, may be paged to succeed productions chief Paul Blake. Muny officials are still burning over Blake’s 20-minute onstage eulogy for performer Gretchen Wyler a few seasons back. “Ninety-nine percent of the audience had never heard of her,” commented an angry official. Also at the Muny, beloved boxoffice guardian George Walsh retired after a 69-year gig there. . .The beleagured Dr. Bill Landau of WashU med center’s neurology dept. has not only been ousted from the ACLU for uttering the “n” word, but also faces a number of angry docs. The contentious Landau harps about the dearth of “secretaries” at clinical staff meetings and frequently uses his battle cry, “I’ll sue.” After the meetings, docs complain they have double-digit numbers of cases to Landau’s few. Another kind of brouhaha took place years ago there, when the department’s chief Dr. Dennis Choi threatened to evict Landau. Choi backed off after Landau threatened to sue. . .And, August Busch, IV, is telling pals, that he “has left Dodge City for the Ozarks” where he is spending most of his time these days.

THREE-DOT JOURNALISM, CONT.: Retired P-D reporter Bill Lhotka has scribed a tome about crime in our town, “St. Louis Crime Chronicles: The First 200 Years,” featuring 50 historic events. Among the stories is the one about the murder of Native American Chief Pontiac in Cahokia, Ill., who was buried around Broadway at Chestnut St. The pageturner is due to hit the stalls in October from Reedy Press. .Sam Koplar was spotted checking out the Clayton real estate market with what friends say is a possible move of Koplar Enterprises from its downtown Jello-tower of indecision. . .Carlene Goddard Mazur is now a permanent resident at Delmar Gardens on outer US-64. The unfortunate woman collapsed from a stroke in her kitchen and was left unattended for three days. . .Don’t invitems to the same party: electrical wizard David Payne and wife, Amy, and Sugo Restaurant bossman Michael Del Pietro – all over the eatery’s outstanding debt of $60,000. . .Are the former Harriet Cella and hub Doug Marshall getting separate mail?… Celebrated chef/owner of Niche Gerard Craft, is eyeing the purchase of the venerable Chez Leon in the CWE

NO ENNUI AT SLU: Prez of St. Louis University the reverend Lawernce Biondi, SJ has been the butt of a few jokes. Some of the administrators refer to the Jesuit priest as “L.B.J”

TO PONDER: Why the shakedown at our fancy shmancy markets? I mean, they’re touting Kobe Beef, when actually the meat is Kobe mixed with American cattle. A customer was overheard telling a meatcutter at Straub’s, “Real Kobe would be about $400 for six sirloin steaks.” The butcher shot back, “Is there a real American car?”

Bogart and Bacall

IT’S ONLY MONEY: And, the top-grossing mom & pop restaurant in our town (as opposed to a chain operation) has to be Annie Gunn’s out in Chesterfield, which rang up $6 million last year, according to an insdier.  For this columnist, Annie Gunn’s is a marvelous retreat and the house disease is nostalgia. It’s the kind of place I would imagine could be a fanatastic movie set. Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart might have been embracing in one of those private hutches near the bar. Mixologist Eve Perlmutter excused herself from the brokers and broken  to create whiskey sours for the twosome. Bogie got a tic in his upper lip as he had in “The Maltese Falcon,’ in which he played private eye Sam Spade.  He said to Perlmutter, “In a paternity case, it’s always her child; in a divorce, it’s her children.

ALL OF MY WASTED LIFE I’ve never seen so many new buildings that are studies in sterility and lone cranes no longer hoisting girders out of a sea of mortgages. There was a time, when topping off of a new building downtown became the lead story. In those days we’d gather for a 35-cent dinner at Garavelli’s on Grand at Olive Street, our baseball heroes were the Browns at Sportsman’s Park on Grand at Dodier Street, where we entered with a Knothole Gang card. I wonder if nostalgia attracts many living people these days. But, back then, anyone worthwhile wore Threadneedle Street shoes from Boyd’s (packaging chief Bob Ragsdale still has a few like-new pairs) and then there were crewcuts. My crewcut appeared as if I had been readied for a prefrontal lobotomy.!